Bachelor ventures out of home on weekend - One last time

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Kumar or Kay as he is called by his loved ones has ventured out on the hurricane weekend with friends for one last time. He was spotted on the banks of the river Passaic with a group of friends.

When asked of his daring adventure on a hurricane weekend in front of a swollen Passaic he said "You know, life is unpredictable, my days of being a bachelor are numbered and I for the last time wanted to spend a weekend with friends."

A software engineer by profession, Kay has been an expert at Databases and has been working on a critical project at one of the top investment banks. He is scheduled to tie the knot on the 19th of November.

When asked what he looks forward to "Marriage or Hurricane Sandy?" He just smiled and walked away.

Didn't You Know News wishes Kay all the best and a Happy and Prosperous Married life. 

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West Coast school kids now wish they lived around NYC

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In what is being touted as an embarrassment to the west coast and esp. to the State of California and the silicon valley students in the schools in the area when asked "How many of you wished you lived in and around New York? " received a 98% "Aye" aka "I" in response.

A survey conducted by social scientists in the states of California, Oregon and Washington - have said that 98% of toddlers between the ages 6 and 14 seemed to like the East Coast more. With States like New York and Florida being preferred destinations. It seems that the kids prefer a colder weather than the warmer west. They also say they want to stay as far away from the Midwest as possible lest they be influenced by the conservative ways of life.

The governor of California Jerry Brown has promised to look into the matter and has given this issue a degree 3(highest) severity. In a closed door meeting he mentioned to his team that they cannot afford NY and FL to steal the IT jobs like how California has done over the last few decades. Republicans on the other hand have blamed the Democrats for the potential outsourcing of future jobs to the East Coast.

Exams are being made easy and teachers have been seen distributing free candy at most classes but children still stick to their preferences.

One child when asked why he chose New York over California  said "They have stuff Irene and Sandy that come there often and give them an off from school but all we have here are a few earthquakes that don't do too much and moreover they don't even tell us before they come. So it's more of half a day off than a few days like my cousins in Brooklyn who have now gone to the Grand Canyons on a 4 day long weekend, we never get such long holidays also my grandma in Nicaragua calls Pete(cousin in Brooklyn) more often than she calls me because he lives in NYC. It's not fair" he said on conditions on anonymity.

After reading this the Governors of the 3 states have been trying to artificially create a storm in the area which would either it on a Thursday and Friday or on a Monday and Tuesday.

(Image Courtesy : http://peaceinyourhome.com/creating-partnership-with-your-childs-school/) 

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New Jersey man challenges Sandy

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A seemingly disturbed man Angel Cruz(name changed) has challenged Hurricane Sandy to cause more destruction to him than his ex-wife who incidentally had the same name.

Out on the streets and visibly disturbed - this man has been heard by area residents screaming "What else will you forcefully take from me Sandy? You took my house, money and kids from me anyway, all I got now is my life. Take it".

Initially the residents of the town of Harrison in Hudson County were filled with sympathy for the individual assuming he had lost his family to the hurricane. It was later that someone mentioned to the growing crowd of onlookers/sympathizers that his ex-wife(who now drives an expensive car given her alimony payments) goes by the same name that sympathy towards him diluted.

Given Sandys success, housewifes in the area intend to follow her example and go all out to get their own expensive cars. Men and insurance companies in the area now seem concerned.

Angel a life-long republican has also endorsed Mitt Romneys stance that President Barack Obama is responsible for Sandys current attitude(Link here) not fully understanding which Sandy his nominee was anyway speaking about.



(Image courtesy : http://www.theculturist.com/home/music-monday-rain.html)

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Republicans blame Obama for Sandy

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Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney has taken the opportunity to blame President Barack Obama for hurricane Sandy. "President Obama in his support for women has attracted Sandy towards his charming persona and hence this destruction."

Taking a jibe at woman voters(not considered his strong-hold) he went on to say "Sandy just like others like her has brought destruction to MAN and when I'm president I would take utmost care to ensure others like her are not held in the same regard or even given the same amount of importance(or pay)."

President Barack Obama when asked about what he had to say about the elections during an interview with the media about the hurricane said "The elections are next week and will take care of itself" hinting on how he intend to give even the election freedom. "I'm currently concerned about the lives of our citizens and not the elections"  he said before flying to Ohio to tour affected areas in the crucial swing state.

Incidentally, Gov. Romney and Pres. Obama have both meticulously avoided the state of New Jersey given they already know the election outcome in that state and the eventual winner intends to sit back and have a laugh at the garden state given it's lack of deciding power. 

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Mitt Romney buys the Samsung Galaxy S 3

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Tired of being called Money-Making-Machine-Mitt(or simply 4M), US Presidential hopeful has gone on to buy a Samsung Galaxy S3 saying that "Finally I have bought something that is designed for humans" and at a recent press conference in Ohio he flashed the phone and also showed he knew how to use it and hoped it would lay any doubts about him being a machine to rest. 

"This is how this phone is switched on" Mitt said as he pressed a button to show a Samsung logo appear on the screen. He also went on to show some of the cooler features of the phone where he appear to touch his phone to another S3 user and they both smiled at each other. It was rumored that Mitt had actually received a donation of $50,000 from that user just with that one touch. 

Meanwhile Apple are baffled as to how such a large sum of money was transferred in such a short span of time. "It is highly likely that Samsung has infringed one of our patents on how we take money for nothing and we are looking into it" said one of Apples' spokespersons, hinting at another lawsuit between the two mobile phone giants. 

Not to be outdone the Obama campaign has bought the rival Apple iPhone 4 "We believe that this phone has all the features of the latest phone by Apple and is affordable to the masses" not knowing that the iPhone 4 does not support 4G-LTE. This was a direct endorsement of the middle-class that need a smartphone for next to nothing(iPhone 4 now costs only $1 online) and use it for nothing but to spend money on. By this action the Obama campaign has again connected to it's base(the middle class) and has also sent out a message say"3G is enough". The campaign also said that this would help bring back jobs unaware of the fact that Apple manufactures all it's product in a distant land where people work hard and ask for less pay. 

Mitt Romney has rejected that this smart move by the Obama campaign may ruin his already non-existent connection with the masses saying "He's bought something that does not work and makes you spend money on it - just like his economic policies" 

Paul Ryan incidentally is waiting for the next Nexus phone saying "It has the latest updates" and Joe Biden has no clue what was going on and had called the President from his outdated Nokia asking "What's all this phone thing about Barack?" 

More to come... 

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