Have you paid your Mitt Romney Tax yet?

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In what is being termed as the most bizarre tax ever - the IRS is imposing a tax on all Democrats(considered losers by the Republicans - who still are not quite sure what happened in November) except for the ones who voted Mitt Romney. This new tax will affect any individual earning below $200,000 and families with income levels below $250,00 and is being called the Mitt Romney tax and also know in some circles as the "Loser Tax". 

It is said that lobbyists behind this highly popular(with the rich) tax are out to show to the nations poor what it feels like to be a loser. The group behind this are said to former backers of Mitt Romney but have now turned to this to hurt all Republicans. They say " Obama was one of the worst Presidents in history and Mitt Romney lost to him. So just imagine how bad he himself must be. This is also the lesson to those who voted Obama" said Mr. Know Wrights the Press Secretary of American Crossroads the main group behind this plan. 

"We want the poor and the downtrodden to know how it feels to be taxed unfairly - and that they must realize that they are losers for being poor - they must also how it feels to be called a loser and that's the main motive of this tax - A recent study in Massachusetts has shown that you tend fight back harder when you are down. This tax does exactly that. So, have you paid your Mitt Romney tax yet?" 

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Student locks self in room for 2 weeks

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Ishan Karpenter a graduate student at a some-what reputed Tech university who had reportedly locked himself up in his room for 2 weeks has finally reappeared in public saying "All is Well".

There have been contrasting theories about his weird act like him being in the wrong company and trying things he could not discuss e.g. studying for the whole day without breaks etc. His flatmates say he would come out early in the morning, eat something quick before locking himself up again. They haven't reported any strange noises or odor from his room either.

Rumor-mill has it that he was also romantically involved with a woman who is his classmate and some of his friends say he could have been in conversation with her all the while and others say he must be depressed with not being able to meet her and even others say he must have ended his relationship with her and this was the only way he was able to get over his grief.

Neighbors say he was the sober kind and may have been affected by his roommates who are the rebellious kind and he may have wanted to avoid them for as long as possible.

He did pick one of our reporters calls up and said "Guys what's all this about? I hear you're calling my roommates and even my neighbors. Calm down - I had my exams and didn't want to get disturbed. Is there a problem with that? Now let me study for my next semester. All is Well. Take care and Merry Christmas."

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Area man uses Social Network as News Feed

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A man from Hightstown, NJ has said he uses the Social Networking Giant as a news feed. 

Roy Pairs a Electronic and Communication Graduate with specialization in Cloud Computing has said he uses Facebook to keep abreast with happenings in the tech world and other news sources like BBC, CNN and even Huff Post. 

"I use Facebook to know what my favorite tech companies are posting. I have even applied for jobs and got calls too just from Facebook. The tech firms also post all the latest news from around the tech world about all my favorite gadgets etc. So it's really cool. I really love Facebook. "

When told that the purpose of Facebook is to connect with friends and not companies he was shocked "Really? I mean I have a few friends on it but I thought they do the same thing too - look at companies and their job postings. Isn't that what people generally use Facebook for? I mean it's obvious right? If I have to find out about my friend I could text him or call him. Why would I need Facebook to help me do that? Why would I care about somebody who is not my friend? I have a lot to study than waste my time with such things." 

When we explained to him the actual purpose of Facebook he said "It's tough to believe that Facebook will tell me if my roommate is crying or got fired by his boss or if he has a lot of research and assignments to do. I mean he could tell me directly and maybe I'd help him but if people are doing this then they must really have a lot of time at their hands. I am going to start an awareness program that Facebook must be used as an educational tool and not a tool that kills your precious time." 

We have decided to support his cause. 

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Attention seeking man uses social media as Pesonal Diary

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Aneet Mission-Raw(yes that's a real name), has said he is grateful to all social networks because it gives a shoulder to cry on. He says he successfully uses it as his personal diary.

"Well it is a practice that I've followed for a long time now, I've always used Social Networking esp. Facebook to let my personal feelings out, after all if your friends don't feel for you then who would? Family? Well they're on Facebook too. Maybe you guys don't know what Social Networking is - it's a friend-list no doubt but you can have family on it too" said Mr. Mission-Raw as he updated his status to "Interviewing with some fool who has no clue what a Social Network is about" to which he immediately got 3 likes. He turned around and said "See those 3 likes within a matter of seconds? They are my true friends. How many you got?" To which our reporter said that he looked at it as a means of keeping in touch and getting information about gadgets etc.

"Look I don't know what you guys think of Social Networking but just yesterday my boss had shouted at me and I posted on Facebook and most of my true friends felt bad for me and joined me in abusing my boss, it has worked wonders towards bettering my mood. I mean all of us have punching bags right? Mine is Facebook" he said as he stopped us in our tracks.

We asked him he had his boss on Facebook to which he used uttered language that we cannot print and immediately turned to his laptop and seemed to delete something.

We wish him good luck with his boss after the Christmas break.

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Graduate buys camera as first step towards "PHOTOGRAPHY"

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In what is becoming the worlds fastest growing passion/career(part-time)/hobby another college graduate who wants to be different and get his creative juices flowing has purchased a Nikon camera as a gift to himself for his first salary.

Craig List an NYU graduate who specialized in Mechanical Engineering and now a full-time employee at Ford(the company the President saved) claims that he was a good photographer for a long time. "I had a small little camera 2 years ago then I bought my iPhone 4, that changed my outlook to life. I started to see how creative I could be to capture moments and freeze them forever. A legacy even my grandchildren could see" he said as he showed pictures to our reporter that seemed to be passed through light filters.

"After the iPhone 4, I got the Samsung Galaxy S3 when it was released and this has a better camera but now I've moved on from amateur photography and unlike other novices in the business, I now have a Nikon DSLR that I gifted myself for Thanksgiving which was when I got my first paycheck too. Yeah this has helped me move ahead of the Instagram folks, who think they're the Godfathers and Obamas of photography, unlike them now I use the software on my laptop, I mean Mac." he went on to say as he opened up a white laptop. "Now I can proudly say I am more creative than the rest are" he added as he showed us a few of his pics like the one below.

When asked what his future plans were he said " Well next year I plan to get more creative and get into movie making and will gift myself a video camera on the 1st of April which is also my birthday" Craig said and signed off.

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