God forgets

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In an unprecedented event God has forgotten to allot a summer season to North-East USA. 

Religious leaders have also confirmed this act of forgetfulness and have blamed it on old age and added pressures of the job of being God. God incidentally is rumored to be thousands of years old - his son is himself more than 2000 years old as claimed by Jehovahs witnesses. 

God was not available for comment but it is said that he may have purposely not switched the summer button-on, which he generally does sometime in April, with temperatures in May being in the low 50s.  Conspiracy Theorists have blamed it on the coldness of the human race. A spokesman said : "I have spoken to the Powers-that-be and here's what has happened - God has not switched the summer button ON to let humanity know how cold they are. He has done it on purpose so that people would start being more warm to each other. He has asked me to let us generate our own warmth with each other", said Dean Sean Jean, the President of Conspiracies United. 

We'll keep you posted on the happenings. As of now all calls to God are going into his voicemail. You can tweet him here.

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NYSE to rename Market Trends

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Claiming that the dominance of the Chicago Bulls and Chicago Bears are over - the NYSE today announced that it was moving away from Chicago and giving importance to the two BIG teams in NBA from the East and West i.e. the Heat and the Thunder respectively. 

Wilson Thun, the Media head of the NYSE today said "With due respect to Chicago that is home to both the Bulls and the Bears after months of discussion we have decided to change the naming conventions to Heat for what is currently the Bullish Market and Thunder to what is currently the Bear market. They have their significance in the fact that an Hot air balloon has Heat and hence rises and Thunder falls from the sky, which is also how the markets have been behaving off-late. The names that we had considered were Cowboys and Ravens among others".

Financial Analysts refused to comment on this change in the naming convention - though one on the condition of anonymity said "I do not understand the reason for this - I've always loved the Bulls as a team - moreover I think the Republicans are responsible for this because we know where President Obama is a Senator from.They do not want any kind of association with him. We know who controls the market."

Photo Credit : money.cnn.com, realtalkonsports.com

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