Showing posts with label funny news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny news. Show all posts

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Apple fan with common sense found!


In what has been the biggest discovery since America by Christopher Columbus, our reporter has found an Apple fan who has common sense.



The man a plumber by profession said that ever since Timothy Cook has been cooking at Apple kitchens, the company has nose-dived in terms of innovation and it's only stream of revenue seems to be from suing rival Samsung.

"I mean, look at this - I have the iPhone 4 and my son the iPhone 5 and I hardly see the difference, my son told me something about it being some 20% lighter and some 18% smaller etc. and he has a cover for the phone, so how does it being smaller help? Moreover other than some software he talks to on the phone it's just like my phone, I don't see the difference, it cost $200 for that phone and don't ask me about accessories, he's had to buy a new dock, and my charger doesn't even fit in his phone" said Mike. "The other day I forgot my GPS in the truck and took the sedan for the drive and used it's maps, the damn thing took us to the next town instead of home, I should be dumb to buy that phone"  he added.

When asked which phone he'd buy next - Mike said " I don't know but it's definitely not the new iPhone, they sell you the same thing repackaged and tell you it's new, I know this business model very well, we use it a lot in the plumbing industry.I'm not a fool to buy that phone, the guys who buy it lack common sense "

He went on to say " It's not just the phone, I have a lot of Apple products, look at my Mac - half the software I need for work don't run on it, I keep it in the living room like an expensive toy so that visitors see it and admire my spending power. This iPad here - double the cost of some other tablet and has the same features, even maintaining and buying apps are so expensive with Apple I'm never buying any of their stuff again".

He had a message for other Apple fans too " See guys, you look at the logo at the back - you must understand why the Apple is half-eaten, IT'S OLD , would you buy a half-eaten Apple from the store?" and he signed off. 

Monday, October 29, 2012

Mitt Romney buys the Samsung Galaxy S 3


Tired of being called Money-Making-Machine-Mitt(or simply 4M), US Presidential hopeful has gone on to buy a Samsung Galaxy S3 saying that "Finally I have bought something that is designed for humans" and at a recent press conference in Ohio he flashed the phone and also showed he knew how to use it and hoped it would lay any doubts about him being a machine to rest. 

"This is how this phone is switched on" Mitt said as he pressed a button to show a Samsung logo appear on the screen. He also went on to show some of the cooler features of the phone where he appear to touch his phone to another S3 user and they both smiled at each other. It was rumored that Mitt had actually received a donation of $50,000 from that user just with that one touch. 

Meanwhile Apple are baffled as to how such a large sum of money was transferred in such a short span of time. "It is highly likely that Samsung has infringed one of our patents on how we take money for nothing and we are looking into it" said one of Apples' spokespersons, hinting at another lawsuit between the two mobile phone giants. 

Not to be outdone the Obama campaign has bought the rival Apple iPhone 4 "We believe that this phone has all the features of the latest phone by Apple and is affordable to the masses" not knowing that the iPhone 4 does not support 4G-LTE. This was a direct endorsement of the middle-class that need a smartphone for next to nothing(iPhone 4 now costs only $1 online) and use it for nothing but to spend money on. By this action the Obama campaign has again connected to it's base(the middle class) and has also sent out a message say"3G is enough". The campaign also said that this would help bring back jobs unaware of the fact that Apple manufactures all it's product in a distant land where people work hard and ask for less pay. 

Mitt Romney has rejected that this smart move by the Obama campaign may ruin his already non-existent connection with the masses saying "He's bought something that does not work and makes you spend money on it - just like his economic policies

Paul Ryan incidentally is waiting for the next Nexus phone saying "It has the latest updates" and Joe Biden has no clue what was going on and had called the President from his outdated Nokia asking "What's all this phone thing about Barack?

More to come...